Life Story Writing

Teaching Life Story Writing and Musings On My Life ~

Can You Pray The Man Of Your Dreams To Your Front Door?!

I looked at the time and then back at Ray. ‘Okay, you have half an hour and then I am kicking you out!’   Over the next thirty minutes we sat and talked.  We talked about exes and children, struggles and heartache, life and hope.  Then with my phone number in hand he retreated into the  night as mysteriously as he had come.  I stood behind the closed door my heart and mind racing to keep up with what just happened.  My body shook from the adrenalin.

The next day dawned and try as I might I still could not get my head around Ray’s visit.  Five nights earlier I had prayed to know if there was someone I should be with and then Ray had shown up after a fourteen year absence.  Coincidence? Or not?  Maybe if it had been a courteous social call but the words he had spoken played through my head over and over.  How could this be happening?

I came to one conclusion.  I had prayed and Ray was at my door and in my life by divine invitation and although I had no feelings for him and hadn’t given him a second thought over the years, I knew I needed to be open to this opportunity.  In that moment I learned that when you pray and God answers your prayers He has your undivided attention.  But now I needed time.  Time to think.  Time to get my mind around this.  Why was it so hard for me to accept?  Maybe because for fifteen years I had searched and dated and hoped to find someone but nothing ever worked out.  I had come to the point in my life I thought  I would never remarry.  At times I had felt forgotten, forsaken.  Did God hear my prayers, my heartfelt petitions?  At times it felt like my prayers bounced back off the ceiling and went unanswered.

Thankfully, that next day, Ray had given me the space I needed to think.  Exhausted mentally and emotionally I climbed into bed that night and fell right to sleep.  I awoke in the early hours and found Ray had texted me….’Thinking about you.’  I tried to sleep but my mind was reeling again.  Where was the off button when you needed it?!  Finally I slept once more.  In the morning I responded to his text…’And I think you sure know how to knock a gal off her feet and leave her shell shocked.  I am still trying to process what you told me!’

Friday he texted me and asked if I would like to go to dinner.  We made arrangements for Saturday evening but I was sick and needed to change plans.  Ray suggested we postpone but by now I had so much on my mind I really needed to talk to him.  He arrived at my house at 7pm that evening.  I sat there on the couch with no make-up and in my sweats.  I had greeted him at the door with ‘Welcome to the Principal’s office.’   By now I was full of questions and plenty of things to say to him.  I started with …’What were you thinking?!’  But before he could answer I followed it with ‘Did you even wonder what I was thinking?!’

I continued to tell him…’I have been single for fifteen years and I don’t think I will ever remarry.  I have no feelings for you.’  He sat and listened and took it well.  But then I relented…’However, a week ago I prayed to know if there was someone I should be with and then you showed up.  I feel like you are here on divine invation and so I am open to this friendship.’

Encouraged by this turn of events Ray proceeded to tell me how to go about finding a husband!  First, he instructed me to make a list of 30 or 40 qualities I wanted in this man.  Then,  I was to take it to Heavenly Father in prayer and He would help me.  ‘Maybe’ Ray suggested, ‘he may be sitting in front of you right now!’   I was annoyed and asked him what made him think he could tell me what to do and that I had no desire to write a list.  The rest of the night there was a tension between us.  A tension I had created.  I wasn’t really ready to let down my defenses.  Yet somehow we managed to spend five hours together without killing each other.

There was a sweet moment in it all when he recalled teaching me the gospel thirty five years ago and for a while my defenses were down as  I remembered those times.  I pulled out the photo of Ray and myself taken on my 17th birthday, the day I was baptized and tried to make the connection between the two people in the picture and the two people sitting on the couch now.  And I wondered what would happen now….to be continued.

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